Long Time, No Blog Post

Hey Readers,

Sorry that I haven’t written a blog post in ages. A lot has happened since the last blog post. I had a lot of homework on top of working part-time. And then I got married back in August! My wedding day was absolutely perfect. I am happy that I get to be with my love for forever.

After getting married, my hubby and I moved to Idaho. Our apartment doesn’t have internet, thus keeping me away from my blog for an even longer period of time. I’m at my sister’s house right now, so I’m taking advantage of the fact that I’ll have internet for a bit.

I’ve been debating on what I should write next. There’s just so much I want to write about. After a long debate with myself I finally decided what I needed to write. I now know what I need to write, but I am having trouble putting it into words, so I will probably do that in my next blog post.

For now I’ll just update you on what I’m up to.

I’ve been very bored since I moved to Idaho. My husband and I are both unemployed. It’s nice being able to be together all of the time, but it’s awful not having anything to do. I’ve beat three Assassin’s Creed games, but that’s all I can say I’ve accomplished since September. I enjoy being somewhat busy, so being unemployed and not in school has been bad for me. I am honestly looking forward to school starting in January so that I’ll have something to do. Being unemployed is also stressful because we kind of need money and we aren’t getting any because no jobs.

I’m honestly really not enjoying living up here. I want to go back home to New Mexico where my hubby is guaranteed a job and where I can be with my family and friends. I hope that someday my husband and I can move back to New Mexico.

Sorry that this post isn’t funny. I just haven’t been in a fun mood lately, so it’s hard to write lighthearted things when you aren’t feeling lighthearted. Maybe the next one will be better.

Things I Used to Care About But Give Zero Craps About Now

Alright, so I’ve decided that another blog post has been long overdue. I apologize for not being a more diligent blogger. In my defense, last semester was insane, but now that I have a little more time on my hands, I decided to update the blog!

Quick news update: I’M ENGAGED! 😀 I’m getting married in August and I couldn’t be more excited 🙂

So, I’ve been contemplating a lot about what to write. The idea finally came to me after I got out of the shower and was contemplating whether or not I wanted to wear real pants that day. I decided to write about things I used to care about (especially in high school) that I don’t care about now.

Here is the list!

1. Wearing real pants, as stated above- I would only wear a specific brand of jeans in high school and I refused to go out in public in sweat pants or my PJ bottoms. Now, I just don’t care. If I wear jeans, it’s a good day. If I wear slacks, it’s because I have a job interview or I’m at some fancy event and I don’t feel like wearing a dress. Most of the time I’m usually wearing sweats or PJ bottoms. If I can get away with it, I choose to not wear pants at all (which isn’t an option most of the time since I live with my parents).
2. Matching socks- For some reason, my socks ALWAYS needed to match. I had/ have some really crazy looking socks (because life is too short for boring socks) and they had to match with the mate that they came with. Now I don’t care, mostly because one mate in the sock pair has worn out so now I have to mismatch socks.
3. Having perfect hair- I wouldn’t walk out the door unless my hair looked amazing. I would blow dry it every morning, put hair products in it, curl it, do awesome braids, etc. Now I just wash it and call it good. Air drying is better for hair anyways.
4. Shaving my legs- I shaved my legs every day throughout middle school and high school, including during the winter. In college I discovered that there was a thing called “No Shave November” and I took full advantage of it. I didn’t shave during November, and then I decided to not shave until it was warm enough to wear shorts. My legs looked like they belonged to a Yeti and it took me about 2 hours to shave my legs once warm weather hit, but it was totally worth it. I’ve done it every winter since and I have no shame in doing so. When I’m married my husband will just have to learn to embrace the Yeti legs.
5. Sexy underwear- I would only buy bras and other things if they looked “sexy.” I have no idea why, but that was super important to me at the time. I don’t remember any particular reason. I guess I just enjoyed being secretly sexy or something. Anyways, now I don’t care. If it’s comfortable I will buy it, and honestly, some of the stuff I used to get embarrasses me now.
6. Being happy and hilarious all of the time- I used to think that my role in life was being the jokester and making people laugh and be happy. I would fake being happy just so people would be happy. Now I don’t care. I decided about a year ago that I just needed to be me and not cover up how I feel. If I want to be funny I will be, but if I’m feeling like giving the finger to the world there will be no jokes for anyone.
7. Wanting to have a perfect family and house- I used to always envision myself married to a rich red-headed guy with perfect little children and living in a perfect huge house with cute decorations and perfectly clean. Now, I know that that is not going to happen. I am engaged to a Native American, so the red-headed thing is definitely not happening haha. Our children will not be perfect but we will love them anyways. And I doubt we will ever be able to afford a large house because of the professions we want to go into. There will be no cute decorations because I am not a crafty Molly-Mormon type of girl and I suck big time at organizing so the house will be cluttered. But hey, I’m good at deep cleaning, so it will actually be clean! It just won’t look that way. But I know I’ll be happy with what happens because I’ll be married to the guy I love and that’s all that matters. Forget the big house and stupid crafty decor.

 

I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head, so the list ends there. Comment if you want a second part to this. But there you go!

I am going to try to suck less at blogging. I have a million ideas for my blog but I never get around to actually updating. Hopefully I will be posting something else soon!

Preparing For the Storm

So my last mission companion’s grandfather had a motto that said, “Fish and company stink after three days.” She later told me that his motto only applied to family, not friends. If you were a friend, you could stay as long as you liked. However, if you were family, you were out of luck. 3 days was all you got for a visit.

Since I’ve come home from my mission, I’ve adopted that motto a little bit. I have a ton of family coming for Thanksgiving. And when I say a ton, I mean it. I’ve got about 10 people coming to visit. That means that there’s going to be 13 of us packed into the house. My parent’s house is a decent size, but the kitchen is pretty small, and once you pack a ton of people into a house it seems to shrink.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. But I have a problem with a lot of loud noise, so that’s what is going to bother me the most. Loud noise in enclosed spaces makes me get a little panicky. I have no idea why, it just does. I would absolutely love to just play with my nieces and nephews all day, but I can’t because: 1) I have a crap ton of homework to do 2) loud noises scare and irritate me.

I’ve been mentally preparing myself for this week all month. I think I should be ok. I tend to make a big deal out of things in my brain, so it probably won’t be near as bad as what I’m imagining.

So I’ve also been trying to balance out cleaning the house, doing homework, toddler proofing the house, and getting over the stomach flu this week (I find it a little ironic that I got the stomach flu right before Thanksgiving). I hope everything goes well. Just pray for my sanity this week. I’m going to need it.

I know that this has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but here’s a video of Rhett and Link eating ghost peppers. I watched this earlier today, and it really helped to boost my mood. Enjoy!

 

 

 

I have a problem

I officially suck at blogging. Sometimes I forget that I even have a blog.

Anyways. I have a confession. I really really big one. And I figured that now was a good time to tell you, so here it goes.

I have a nasty habit of saying, “The tank is clean” whenever anyone says, “The sun is shining.”

That’s right. I picked up a habit from  “Finding Nemo.” And it’s bad. Really bad. The other day I was in the store, and I heard this lady talking on the phone. She was talking about how beautiful the day was, and then she said those words. “The sun is shining.” Before I could even think, the words “the tank is clean” came out of my mouth right as I walked by her. Words can’t describe the expression on her face.

Even when my mom comes to wake me in the morning those words still come out. Whenever I sleep too late she busts into my room with so much sickening morning happiness and says, “THE SUN IS SHINING!” And even though I’m groggy, grumpy, and have no idea where I am, the words, “the tank is clean” still manage to make their way out of my mouth.

I have a major problem, guys. And it’s all thanks to Disney.

I Have Returned. Now I have RM struggles!

Hello, Readers!

I’m pretty sure you’ve been wondering what happened to me. In the last post, my friend, Kira, told you that I would be returning home. Well, here I am, writing this post in person!

It took me a while to be willing to touch this blog again. One reason is because I couldn’t remember my password. The main reason is because I didn’t want to be home. I didn’t want to have to tell people about being home. But today, I’ve decided to tell you what it’s been like to be home.

It’s been rough. Lots of tears, lots of tantrums, and lots of culture shock.

Leaving my mission was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The night before I left I didn’t sleep much. I just laid in bed and cried. I absolutely loved being a missionary. I loved sharing the gospel, I loved wearing the missionary nametag, and I loved being an official representative of Jesus Christ.

At first, being home wasn’t too hard. I got to see my family for the first time in 18 months. I got to see Kira and other friends again. And I got to eat real Mexican food for the first time in a long time. But this happiness only lasted for as long as my family was visiting.

I really started to struggle afterwards. It was hard adjusting back to normal life. On my mission I couldn’t watch any movies that weren’t church produced or listen to music that wasn’t about Jesus. All of a sudden, I could watch stuff I wasn’t allowed to watch. I no longer had a busy set schedule. I no longer had rules keeping me from doing normal people things. For some, this would be like waking up on Christmas morning.For me, it was just a reminder that the happiest part of my life was now over and I’d never get it back.

I also started to stuggle, and do currently struggle, with wanting to go to church. I wouldn’t admit it to anybody because everyone seems to have this idea that returned missionaries are perfect. They just returned from doing the Lord’s work. Why wouldn’t they still be all gungho about being churchy? Well, it’s hard going back to your home ward. Everyone here has always held me to a high standard. I was already struggling with not being a missionary anymore, and the pressure of the “RM perfection standard” just pushed me over the edge. Plus with people saying offensive things to me, it’s made it even more difficult to go to church. I know that the gospel is true, and I love it with all my heart, and I know this is God’s church, but I still don’t want to go to church. I know this is a phase that I’m going through, but it’s still difficult.

The most difficult part of it all is that people think I’m fine. Since I’m a returned missionary, I’ll always be fine. Don’t need to worry about me. I’m perfect. Nothing wrong with LaPriel, right? Ha. What a load of crap. Because I’m fine, people try to heap responsibility on me that I am not emotionally capable of handling right now. Because I’m fine, people freak out when I tell them I’m not fine. And when people ask about how my mission was, if I liked it at all, they just blank out and don’t listen when I talk about it. Because they don’t care. They act like they do, but they don’t. They just want me to be the fine, perfect RM they think I am.

Now that I think I’ve gotten my point across, I’d like to say a few things to people who have RM’s in their lives. Don’t just assume that we’re fine. Most of us struggle for a while after coming home. Coming back is really difficult for a lot of RM’s. We don’t show it because people expect us to always be happy. People also don’t let us talk about our missions. As soon as we do, people get that glazed look in their eyes like they’re not really listening or interested in what we have to say. So we stop talking. No use talking to a wall, right (although the wall probably has better listening skills than most people do)? Our missions were great, and we really want to talk about it! But when people just shut us down like that, it makes us feel unwanted. All of this stuff just contributes to the difficulties of adjusting to being home. So please. Listen to your RM talk about their mission. Let them struggle and don’t judge them for it. Don’t expect them to be perfect. Trust me, even missionaries make plenty of mistakes, so being an RM doesn’t mean immediate perfection. Lend a listening ear to them. Let them talk. Let them be awkward for a bit.

Now I don’t want you to think that my life has been doom and gloom since I got home. It has been difficult, but I’ve also had some really good things happen. I recently got into a serious relationship with my best guy friend, and I kinda love him a lot 🙂 He helps me want to be better. I’ve also gotten closer with my family, and developed a better relationship with those that I didn’t get along with before. I’ve been able to talk with my best friends and catch up on things with them, and we are still wonderful friends. The distance of my mission didn’t affect that friendship at all. I’ve also been able to rely on my Savior a lot more in my trials, and I feel that I’ve gotten closer to Him, even though I’m no longer a missionary.

I do not regret my decision to serve a mission. I loved my mission so much and I would never trade it for anything! The people I met there changed my life for the better. I gained a stronger testimony of the gospel and a greater love for my Savior. My mission helped me change into a better person, and helped me come another step closer into becoming who my Heavenly Father would want me to be.

Last Full Week!

I feel like this email needs to be posted in its original entirety, so here you go.

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HOLY COW, I CAN’T BELIEVE I ONLY HAVE A WEEK LEFT. I’m flying out next Tuesday. It’s so hard to believe that this has come to an end. I thought that somehow my mission would last for forever. But it has gone by so fast, and I will soon have to take the nametag off and be just a normal civilian again. It’s terrifying but exciting all at the same time!

This week has been rough. But as always, there’s something good that happens every week, no matter how bad it is.

Monday, I had breakfast with Sister Jarnagin and her kids from my first area! It was so good to see them! Oh my goodness, the kids have gotten so big since I last saw them. But Sister Jarnagin has always been one of my favorites. She said when I get married she’s going to send me a nerf gun because “sometimes you just need to shoot your husband!” Ha! After that we drove up to Idaho City, which is in the farthest reaches of the mission (It’s 40 miles away) because we had miles we needed to burn. It was pretty cool, it’s the only place in the mission that I haven’t been to, so it was fun seeing it! The population of that town is 400. It’s funny.

On Tuesday we went on exchanges with the STL’s. I had a ton of fun! I was with Sister Pahulu. I love that girl to death! She’s Tongan, so she’s a ton of fun. We had a lot of fun together and it was fun seeing her area. But Sister Francies had a bad day because one of our less-actives in one of our wards told her that she was a bad missionary and that she should just go home. I’m glad I wasn’t there because I probably would have flipped out and destroyed something. No one messes with my companions! But she hit rock bottom for a few days and was scaring me a little bit.

Wednesday… yeah. We didn’t go out for most of the day because Sister Francies was having a mental breakdown. But we made it to our lesson with Sheri! We taught her the Gospel of Jesus, and she loved it. She’s read so much of the Book of Mormon already! She’s in Mosiah now, and it’s only been a month since we gave her the Book of Mormon. She is so amazing! I also just realized that Wednesday was my 18 month mark! So I’ve officially served for 18 months.

On Thursday I ended up going to the urgent care. I found out that I have an infection, which explains why I’ve had a high fever for the past 3 weeks. They gave me antibiotics, and I’ve already started feeling better. But we contacted some referrals later.

Editor’s note: how LaPriel manages to get sick all the time without realizing it, I don’t know. She was like that in high school too. She must be, like, Superwoman or something.

Grumpiness, Lots of Lessons, and the Heat

Hi guys! This week Priel’s been struggling a bit with being grumpy, both because of the stress of her upcoming return home (two weeks!) and because of the heat. It’s been really annoyingly hot in Idaho this past week, which I can attest to — “like 106 degrees” Priel says. She’s not looking forward to having to pack up either — she’s got lots more stuff now than she did when she first arrived, gifts and things.

Tuesday they had district meeting. Wednesday, they spent a lot of time with Dixie, doing service. Priel adores Dixie. They also did some work trying to contact people. Thursday Sister Francies was sick, so they stayed home most the day. In the evening they went on splits with the ward mission leader, who the Shamrock bishop had talked to about previous issues. Priel really likes that bishop. Friday they did yard work service for an old less-active couple, and the heat had Priel sweating like mad — she says she soaked through her shirt. The couple will be dealing with some major surgeries soon, so the ward will be helping them out. Saturday they met with the ward mission leader for their other ward, and Priel says he’s a real go-getter and easy to work with. Sunday they just had meeting after meeting and collapsed into bed after.

In lessons this week: on Monday they had an FHE lesson with a less active family, and their little five-year-old girl rattled off the whole story of Korihor. She’s like a sponge, Priel says. Priel wishes she had more time to get to know these people.

On Tuesday, they had a lesson with Jon about the Restoration, and afterwards he agreed to be baptized! It’ll be hard because he’s got some issues in his life that mean he’ll need First Presidency approval first, but Priel believes in him. Wednesday, they taught Sheri about the Plan of Salvation. They invited her neighbor, a member of the church, over, and he was way helpful at teaching and bringing the Spirit. He’s a former Hell’s Angel and has come really far, and Priel says Sheri is too. She’s getting all kinds of important questions answered for herself through the scriptures. Friday they had a lesson with the Prescotts also about the Plan, and ditto with Jon on Saturday. Things are going well there.

Allergic to Onions, My Dear

Very busy, a billion stupid papers to do, so we are pasting in.

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Hey everyone!

So to start off my email, here’s some funny quotes that a bunch of small, redheaded kids said. “I have a table at my house! I’m not allowed to take it anywhere though.” “Why are you wearing shoes?!” “My toots smell like cookies.” I feel like this explains children in a nutshell.

This week has been alright. Things are booming in the Meadow Lark Ward, but not so much in the Shamrock ward. We don’t get too much support from our Ward Mission Leader which doesn’t help us out too much.

So on Monday we just did our usual P-day stuffs. Nothing too exciting happened. The Sisters in the zone wanted to do a sister’s activity, but Sister Francies and I both hate being around too much estrogen, so we just did our own thing, which was fun.

On Tuesday Sister Francies woke up with the same sickness I had last week, so we stayed home and watched a lot of church videos. I ended up writing about 7 letters. We also got a couple of referrals that day from the bishop in the Meadow Lark Ward, which was awesome!

On Wednesday, Sister Francies still wasn’t feeling well, but we had district meeting that day and interviews with President Winder, so she mustered up the energy to go. Interviews were good. I brought up my concerns about marriage and whatnot for when I go home, and he just smiled and said that we’d talk about that in my final interview. But he said that he’s so proud of how far I’ve come on my mission and that he’s seen a huge change in me.

A Better Week

Four weeks left, guys!!!!

Priel had a better time this week — she’s adjusted to the area and the area has adjusted to having sisters instead of elders. Monday they had a dart war, which Priel was super happy about — she says she’s “a boss” at them now. Also, “at the end, I was the only sister who was playing with the Elders because the other sisters were too busy flirting with a new missionary who is from French Canada. Sheesh.”

Oh my dear dear.

They had district meeting on Tuesday. Priel says, “Elder Stark, who is now AP, was at the meeting. I was really happy to see him, since he’s become one of my best friends, but he’s changed after becoming AP. He’s so serious now, and his “Starkle Sparkle” is gone. It makes me so sad when missionaries lose their personality once they go into a big leadership position!” My other missionary friend, Dalton, is zone leader now so I’m kinda hoping that’s not true for him, haha. The few letters I manage to get from him (the Brazil/US postal service is SO SLOW) don’t seem to be lacking personality.

It was a good meeting, though, and they did some teaching and meeting work, before having some drama with Relief Society: “Then we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off that night because our relief societies were having activities at the same time, so we had to run to both, and then the people in one ward got mad at us because we left early to go to the other activity. Seriously. People need to start acting like adults and learn to share us.” I’ve had trouble sharing Priel in the past, so I can’t totally blame them, myself. 😉

Wednesday they did some service for Dixie, who is a “dry Mormon” — would be a member but struggles with giving up wine. She’s called “the missionary mom” in their area and everyone loves her, including Priel, who cried at her for a little bit about not wanting to go home yet. Then they did some more proselyting.

Stressed Spelled Backwards is Desserts

Short one, so I’m pasting Priel in.

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Hello everyone!

Holy crud, this week has been so stressful. I forgot how hard whitewashing is. But we’ve been able to stay busy, and as a result, we collapse once we come home at night. We’ve also been eating our feelings a lot, so I might gain another 10 pounds before I come home.

Sister Francies and I are getting along well so far. She is from St. Louis, so she’s got the eastern toughness going on. It’s a little scary sometimes. She has a really feisty personality and loves to call people to repentance. Yeah, we’re going to have to work on that this transfer. I don’t want our wards to hate Sister Missionaries.

We visited a ton of people this week, and, to my surprise, a lot of them were angry that we replaced the Elders. One 7 year old wouldn’t listen to our lesson because “we weren’t as beautiful as Elder Cortez.” Direct quote. Even the old ladies are obsessed with Elder Cortez! People also won’t let us do service for them because we can’t lift heavy things like the Elders. Psh. I lifted 40 pound boxes at my last job! I can do as much as the Elders can. It kind of wounds the ego, not going to lie, haha! I think it’s going to take a little bit for the wards to like us. But that’s ok. It might not happen while I’m here, but that doesn’t matter. I just want them to like Sisters at some point.

Well, that’s really all I have to say this week. My brain is fried from all the stress, so I’ll have more to say next week, when we’re actually settled and have some idea of what we’re doing.

Love you all! Have a great week 🙂

Love, Sister Bawden